If Only You Knew

Passing seconds erode
Lengthy rays scold
A naive smile
A juvenile laugh
Penetrates miles and miles
Why can’t it be enough?

Drawing from an empty well
Assuring it’s okay
When it’s not our day
If words could only tell
Impossible strength to gain
Upstream, a river of pain
A thankful and loving embrace
Can’t make the case

Meander in fun
Enjoyment, full numb
Wind carries many lessons
Continually preached
Yet, unable to overcome
Unable to press on

Weight of life pooling in your eyes
Beginning to mirror mine
What if it’s hereditary?
A thought too scary…
If I courageously fly to the sky
Everything will be fine

Drowning in mistakes
Sinking in heartache
A preserver carrying me forth
You always were
Each naive smile
Each juvenile laugh
An insurmountable debt incurred

Don’t dip that little chin
The greatest of kin
Don’t wander in wonder
On this day of thunder
Don’t cry for me
For now I am free

In Your Arms

You held me in your arms
The first night we met.
You held me in your arms
The last night I wept.
If love is war,
You retreated unscathed,
Caring less and less about my name.
A casualty, bleeding from the core,
Pondering what it was all for.

Driving from a past life,
Cityscape increasingly smeared.
You gripped the bloody knife,
Affirming my greatest fear.
What began in secret,
White-hot with passion,
Ended with affection less frequent-
A phoenix, incapable of rising from these ashes.

With a mind so wise,
How was I supposed to know
Grooves and Folds contained such lies.
Left in a tattered raft to row.
Pleading for a lifeline
to salvage what was broke.
Yet, everything would be fine
If, from this nightmare I awoke.
Free from harm,
To find myself in your arms.

Begin Again

‘Til death
Was the agreement
Yet, full of health
And now, my wealth
You’ve become independent

Empty rooms yearn
Hallways erode and hollow
What is there to learn
When there’s only sorrow
What can break the silence
To my heart, it is endless violence

Body refuses to eat
Mind refuses to sleep
Voices begin to slowly creep
I don’t think this is something I can beat
Conceal the tan-line
Don’t let yourself torture and pine

Forgive and forget
Advice for those who don’t fret
Get over by getting under
Advice that might help, I wonder?
Drink plenty of wine
A favorite of mine

One day, you entered the train
While I stepped off
First thought to enter my brain:
Our time wasn’t enough
Next thought:
I hope you’re happy
and found everything you sought

First Date

Meet at the Coffee Shop,
Read the text
I couldn’t make my heart stop!
What would come next?
Arriving first on that warm winter day
Impossible to keep the nerves at bay

When you turned the corner
And came into view
Right then and there, I just knew
My days of being a loner
Were bound for the rearview

Hours and hours we talked
Miles and miles we walked
A quick meet and greet
Transitioned into:
Want to get something to eat?

Wide-eyed smiles
That would rival the distance of the Nile
Shared laughter
From personal stories and banter
Sampling each other’s food
Sunsetting kind of mood

We ended up at your place
The night didn’t go to waste
Driving home In bliss
I endlessly reminisced
about that goodnight kiss

You entered my atmosphere
So happy, I could burst into tears
Twelve hours ago I had no clue
But right then and there, I just knew
As sure as the rise of the sun
This was going to be the one

Sour Hours

Dust collecting
Mind reflecting
Many unfound hours
Organic chemistry turning sour
Waiting for a single knock
Wish someone could hear me talk
A bad batch
Or wrong mixture, maybe
Who will take care of the baby

Shrieking night cries
So young, yet so wise
Let them hear
Let them near
Grow and yearn
Fail and learn
Standout from the crowd
Make mama proud

More golden rays
How many days
All quiet and still
Nothing left to kill
Not one curious knock
Or jiggle of the lock
A baby’s laugh
From the other studio’s half
Brings involuntary smiles
A reunion so vile.

Climb On

Could it ever be?
Maybe climbing ladders
Wasn’t meant for people like me.
The only thing sadder
than a life riddled in repeat,
Is one depleted of dreams.
So, climb on and on and on…
Climb until your fingers bleed!
If you fall, let it be.
Get up and grip each rung.
Higher and higher and higher…
Until you can reach the sun
Or look at the face of failure
And laugh at those who made fun.
A life worth dreaming
Is a life worth living.
So, climb on.

Silhouette

Emulation in the finest form.
On the worst days (most days),
the one and only true friend.
Until it follows the sun’s rays,
disappearing once again.

Alone to fend
The relentless demons (who always stay)
burrowing deeper
And deeper inside.
Some nights
There’s nowhere to hide.
Some nights
Miraculously transition to light.

Oh, one and only true friend,
What will this night bring?
Will you ever be seen again?
As the birds and trees sing?

Oh, one and only true friend
Don’t let this be the end.

Chrysalis

The absence of light.
Curled and entombed,
You battle a frigid fight.
Full of wonder.
Full of fright.
When will it end?
Soon.

A thousand gashes.
A million burns.
As each night turns,
Winter’s frost
Chisels away and rations
Deep-seated passion.
Revealing the loss.
Revealing the cost.
When will it end?
Soon.

Lack of hydration,
Rich in frustration
And increasing suffocation.
Unable to stretch,
A pinhole of light
Taunts and tickles…
What a sight!
A desire to hatch.
A desire to take flight.
When will it end?
Soon.

Creaking and cracking…
The sound of final demise?
Or maybe a calling…
A warn from ancestors before-
Audible pleas and cries,
To carry on their lore.
To carry on their song.
When will it end?
Soon.

A deafening snap!
Violent incoherence…
Welcoming rays on endless tap.
Deciphered inference…
Standing tall,
Full of color.
Full of resolve.
When will it begin?
With the spread of your wings…
Now.

1,460 Days (And Counting...)

One thousand Four Hundred and Sixty Days.
Exactly one-eighth of my life,
You’ve been away.

What else is there to say?
I’m left here turned over on my side
With nothing to do but curse and cry.

I try to stand and fight
For each happy ray of light.
But without you
It appears only imminent darkness is in sight.

For this life
Has lost meaning.
It’s keeps me up at night.
Wondering if there is more.
Wondering what horrors are still in store.

Then I see your beautiful face,
Even through all the pain and suffering,
A smile, somehow, is left gleaming.

It’s a necessary reminder,
That with a little courage,
We can face anything.
Even through the most difficult trials
Or in times of crippling self-doubt.

It is just another wary bout
We must overcome.
For life is beautiful and full of love
If we choose to be strong
And strive to become
Who we are truly meant to be.

You are the constant reminder,
Day in and day out,
That life does amount.
And I will continue to fight.
Take in every ray of light,
With unrelenting joy,
As I continue to make you proud
And count the days until I get to see you and recite:
Mother, you were right.
You were right.